Apparently, all it takes for society to crumble is a glass cup with ears. This week, grown adults lined up at Starbucks before sunrise—IN THE COLD—just to buy a bear-shaped cup. Not coffee. Not food. A cup. A cup that looks like something you’d win at a carnival for 50 tickets.
People camped out like they were waiting for concert tickets, clutching blankets, strategizing like it was a military operation:
“We need three cups—one to use, one to display, and one to resell for $120.”
And when stores sold out? Tears. Outrage. TikToks of dramatic meltdowns. At one point, someone yelled at a barista like the barista personally handcrafts the global supply of bear-shaped glassware.
The funniest part is watching fully functioning adults sprint to their cars afterward, triumphantly holding a fragile piece of glass like it’s the Holy Grail. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is wondering how we ended up here—where people treat novelty cups like rare artifacts.
If aliens landed today, saw this scene, and decided we weren’t ready for contact… honestly, they’d have a point.
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