It starts innocently enough.
Every fall, pumpkin spice shows up in our coffee. Fine. We get it. It’s September.
Then it starts spreading.
Pumpkin spice cookies. Cereal. Ice cream. Beer. Protein bars. Bagels. Popcorn. Even pumpkin spice hummus and ramen have existed.
At some point, we stopped asking whether pumpkin spice belonged in something and just started putting it in everything.
And then things got weird.
There has been pumpkin spice toothpaste, deodorant, dog treats and even pumpkin spice garbage bags.
Yes. Garbage bags.
Apparently, even your trash needs to smell like fall.
But now we’ve reached the final boss.
Titan Casket is selling a pumpkin spice casket.
It’s orange, has a white interior and sells for around $1,599.
The idea is basically that your love of pumpkin spice doesn’t have to end when you do.
Which is a lovely thought, I guess.
But imagine showing up to a funeral and realizing the person is literally being buried in pumpkin spice.
We’ve gone from wanting our coffee to taste like fall to making sure our entire afterlife smells like a Starbucks.
At this point, there’s only one thing left.
Pumpkin spice pumpkin.
Honestly, give it a year.
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